想念爸爸

在牧師講完道時,我和Lulu姐上台唱回應詩歌「全新的你」,不知怎麼搞的,突然想起爸爸,看著牧師的背影,讓我想起爸爸,雖然爸爸的身材比較高壯,皮膚也黑黑黑,頭髮沒有很多,卻讓我想起很久沒有想念的爸爸,不知道他在天堂好不好?他知道我現在在做什麼嗎?他知道我有一個很讚的另一半嗎?

昨天在練詩歌時,Angel和Charity兩個人在討論牧師要唱快版或慢版「全新的你」時,Angel對Charity說:「Dady說要唱慢版的。」當聽到Angel說Dady時,心裡突然被振動了一下,怎麼回事?已經很久沒有想到爸爸,Angel口裡說出的這個Dady,當然是她的爸爸,而我的爸爸呢?好久沒有這麼叫爸爸了,幾乎都快要忘記怎麼叫了,我也好希望可以和自己的爸爸一起為神服侍。回到家裡,和羅教授一起打電話給童爸時,在電話裡我故意很大聲的叫他「Dady!」這種感覺好棒,我可以用力的叫Dady!以後我要一直這麼叫他。我的Dady也是牧師,也是教授,我可以和他一起做的又更多了,感謝神,我好希望有一天能常常服事神,那種感覺真的很喜樂。

今天第一次在溫哥華靈糧堂服事,任務是站在台上唱歌,這也是我最喜歡的服事之一了,為神唱歌的感覺真的很棒,在台下有時候會有點害羞,不太敢跳舞或者做手勢,在台上時,藉著服事之美名,可以完完全全的放開在神的面前,想怎麼跳,想怎麼唱,都能夠自由自在地釋放出來,奉獻詩歌讓我很感動,猶如歌詩那般,「主啊!我需要有你在我生命中。」失去爸爸後,我知道一直都是神在照顧著我,祂讓我知道怎麼樣成為一個正直、喜樂的人。

low low

今天我的心情有點低低的,很想到Granville Island走一走,想吃一點奇奇怪怪的食物,看一些奇奇妙妙的東西讓自己可以開心一點,不過晚上要去教會看musical,其實表演是連續到星期一,不知道為什麼我就很堅持要看第一場。

I made my final decision that leaving the program. My supervisor and Department chair did not agree with the one-year on leave. So I decided to leave. Yeah, it's time to leave. I told myself that is good for me. This school is not worthy to contribute my studies at all. I guess that I just feel really sad about people. No one is really supportive and truly sincere. Also, I feel bad because I cannot finish the program. I am not the person who frequently give up everything. God, Dada, do you hear what I say? I definitely want to leave. I know You will be with me and let them know I am a good girl. I know You will be with me and prosper my future. The door is closed by You, but you will open a new wonderful window for me.